Voices to Parliament that Peter Dutton would support
"We don't need an Indigenous Voice, we need to enshrine the Murdoch Voice to Parliament" - Peter Dutton
Hello fellow human beings of Australia,
I, Peter ‘Not a Monster’ Dutton am writing to you all to clarify some details that I feel are being misrepresented recently during the Voice debate. As I have said many times, I am not against constitutional recognition of First Nations people, I just think people should vote against it.
I personally am not opposed to having a Voice to Parliament, I am just against against this proposed Indigenous Voice to Parliament, the one that hasn’t been proposed or drafted yet.
See I know it will become a ‘Canberra Voice’, unlike the current system of people in Canberra making all the decisions without listening to anyone else.
However recently I was listening to PM Albanese at a press conference mocking the idea that he or any government would consult the Voice on new coal and gas projects ripping up Indigenous Heritage sites, and while I laughed along with Albo, I thought to myself about how concerning the idea that a different looney left leader might actually consult the Voice on what happens to Indigenous land; so I have come up with some different Voice proposals for the most important voices in this country to be recognised and enshrined in the constitution.
Australia, we need to enshrine the following voices:
A Fossil Fuel Voice to Parliament
A Murdoch Voice to Parliament
A First Nations Voice to Parliament (made up of Queensland Cops and Former Indigenous Affairs Minister Tony Abbott)
Also, in more exciting news, my 5th rebrand to a softer more relatable person is kicking off with my very own ScoMo style nickname, since ‘Dutto’ wasn’t taking off.
So, signing off, yours trueishly,
PeDo
More from John:
“How transphobes held the door open for literal fucking Nazis” for theshot.net.au
"It shouldn’t have taken Nazis crawling out of their parents’ basements for people to realise how cartoonishly evil these idiot transphobes are, but now we have clearly hit a point where we must take a stand and say FUCK NAZIS and FUCK TRANSPHOBES.
Moving forward, there are two things we need to do immediately: show support to our trans friends and call out the bullshit attempts from the transphobes to not reap what they so hatefully sowed.”
Read the full piece by clicking here
(Also I have another Shot piece coming out either tomorrow or early next week about Autism Awareness Month so keep on the lookout for that. It’s quite different (way more sincere and emotional than my normal work), I’m excited for you all to read it (it + going to the comedy fest is why I missed last week’s newsletter).
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